John Mayer and Me

Mayer has left Twitter leaving millions of fans with nothing to read or respond to, and I'm thinking that if I were to join Twitter now, I mean, right now, this very day, perhaps a large portion of these otherwise aimless people would become my followers (or friends or whatever the term is) and they would love everything I write and be willing to buy my books and track down my stories online and make me a millionaire like Mayer is.

When I heard he had quit Twitter, my initial reaction was to ask "Why is this news?" But that is the cranky old man in me. My second reaction was to try to think of a song by John Mayer. Couldn't do it. I'm sure I've heard his songs and if I googled them and saw the titles, I'd probably know the melody. I haven't googled it; it's been a full day since hearing the "news," but I still can't come up with a title. Ah well. My loss.

Didn't Mayer dump Jennifer Aniston? That's a move I can't understand from the looks side of things. Of course, Aniston may be a shrew in real life or perhaps smell funny. Still, Brad Pitt dumped her for Angelina Jolie who, frankly, I think looks more manly than Pitt does though I'm not sure that's saying much. Aniston does seem to whine a bit much since she's always on the cover of magazines at my supermarket checkout, and she's always complaining that Brad Pitt left her childless while impregnating Angelina Jolie countless times (Pitt that is, not Aniston).

Back to Mayer. Apparently, 3.7 million people were left in the lurch when he quit Twitter, and, if I understand correctly, these people had to be invited to join his account at Twitter so imagine all the millions of personalized notes he sent out to gather this collection of Twitter-buddies and all the little cards he'll have to prepare to let people know that he'll no longer be able to twit with them. This seems to be an enormous amount of work and may well be the reason why I haven't heard any of his songs - he simply hasn't had the time to do any singing.